Nope . i cant let my heart hurt . i cannot let it suffer . i can lie to myself all i want . i cant let it hurt . cause i am an unfaithful friend and aware of that . i was the person that always does the same mistake . and i dont want or need you to come and say sorry to me anymore . i must learn how to be strong . i cant always hurt the ones i love . doing that , i must hurt myself . but i cant help to hurt my precious heart . cause only my heart lies those memories and love we once shared . i have been so unfaithful . theres no turning back anymore . i cant do this to you anymore . all the jealously i have it all killing me and my friendship . jealousy lead me into this and i going to make my way out of this . but what do i leave behind ? i dont know . all my feeling for you . there just all stuck into my heart . like a rock droped into a well , can it make it way out by itself ? no . thats the problem . how am i going come out of this well ? who will be that person be bothered and pick up the rock and tell the rock . your special ? that person is a true friend . you gave me the best of times . but i stupidily took a knife and pierced into that friendship . in a matter of seconds , hate and sorrow flows into that heart full of love between us . now its black , and yes it poisoning me . i dieing bit by bit . but i cant give up yet . there still a pitch of love . fighting it way through . and i want that love to fightfightfight . but i cant help my selfish face to you . my selfishness . rudeness . all i though was myself . not anyone around me . you gave me love and i gave you hate . why did i do this ?i ask myself . whywhywhy ? what gain to you get from this ? nothing right ? then why break the friendship . why do i need people to care about who i am ? why must i do this ! so what if you have changed . it still you right . then why am i doing this to you and to myself . killing you slowly is like poison myself into a deeper death . i keep doing this to our friendship . i always say , i wont do this anymore . but why do i do it ? i ask myself ! why are you so selfish . why are you so full of yourself . shouldnt you be grateful for your friends around you ? why do this kind of thing ? the more the merryier right ? why so stupid . moreever . you have been to stupidiest person i know . why of all friends her ? the best out of the all ? so many questions lie in my head but nothing is answered . i dont know how to face you . i always come saying sorry . being such a pussy . by now you wouldnt want me to be your friend anymore cause you know and i know to that this will happen again and the cycle will continue . but why me ! always me . why am i the stupdest person now ? why me ! of all attitudes in the world why must i have this ? why do i always run around with knifes and poking people hearts . and hurting myself . yes i am sorry , i really have no more face to face you . my biggest regret is , hurting your heart .
love you all . byes.
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